Gravitation to God:

A Personal Journey

My initial resistance to the Christian Faith had a lot to do with Black Pride. If it was white, it could not  possibly be good for me. There must be an under-current of deception in there which is not too perceptible, in which case I should be careful.  To accept Christianity, in my opinion, was to reject African culture, or to implicitly admit that African religions were inferior either in the quality of teachings or in the efficacy and reliability of the deliverance they promised. It was a dilemma.

The notion of a powerful God, all knowing, omnipotent, omni present, all powerful, was central to my upbringing.  He was and is Osalobua.  The greatest of the gods.  He was and is God. He is the Creator.  Everything that was created was created by Him. Nothing was created that was not created by Him.  Yet, right there, the Binis worshipped other gods too, Ogun - the god of Iron, Isango - the god of Thunder, Olokun - the god of the river.

My embrace of Christianity had as much to do with how I felt as it did with how I thought. I have been lucky to fly over the Atlantic several times. Each time I fly over the ocean; each time I fly over the Sahara desert, I am reminded of the grandiosity of the Most High, and the relative irrelevance of simple man.  I am reminded of how really small I am in the scheme of things. 

There was, inexplicably, a correlation between how much I prayed and how well I did in school.  I prayed every night, even at a time when the concept of hell and heaven seemed fictional to me. I prayed every night to my Creator even when the concept of repentance seem like an over-kill to me. I was too young to commit sin, I thought.  I did not think I had committed any sin.  If prayer led to better grades and commendation, I prayed more often and more intensely.  All through my life, every time I gave more attention to God and my spiritual life, my physical and financial well-being improved, miraculously. 

As you go through life, friends, family, co-workers, well-meaning people mostly, are going to try to define you.  They will tell you what you ought to be doing and what you should not be doing. Invariably, their definition of you is self-serving.  Watch out. Listen. But remember the most important definition of you is that done by God, and the Spirit within you.   Listen to the prophets and catch a glimpse of your essence and mission.  That defines who you are. In the final analysis, we are all ministers. We all must minister, either through words, actions, or our particular trade, talent, or gift the goodness of God.  In the end, we all become vessels to deliver the love, blessings, and earthly goodies of God. 

On the road to Damascus, suddenly, Paul was transformed from persecutor to promoter of the cause of Christ.  My gravitation to Christ was gradual, incremental, and yet immediate. My position from the very beginning, from the time I could think for myself, was If I am, then God is.  Simple. Since I could not explain or understand the very intricacies of my body, being and existence, some Power greater than me had to.  I didn't make myself.  A greater Force had to. Seventh Day Adventist school and church.  Jehovah Witness studies.  The Rosicrucian Order.  The Salvation Army.  All served in part to pull me closer to the Christ spirit.

That much  I learned.

A. Izevbizua

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